RETIRED: Official Political Humor Thread

[rayzac]

System Notice: This thread content has been automatically archived from another thread which reached post limit, and will be preserved for reference and archival purposes. The discussion should continue in the original thread (http://forums.slickdeals.net/showthread.php?t=351999)

Since politics and humor do not always mix, yet the lounge is a little touchy about such topics, this will be the official thread in the Podium to post humor items (jokes, cartoons, blogs, etc). Anything that is overly offensive will still be moderated according to the rules and we will enforce the "No complaining about politics" rule more closely here.

Because of the volitile nature of the Podium, this thread will be limited to posts on humor content and debating will not be allowed in this thread. We will use the spamming and/or trolling if you choose to debate in here.

[XXnarg]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/jh/2006/jh061013.gif

[Mighty]

20520

The new political Juggling act!

[XXnarg]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/jh/2006/jh060915.gif

[XXnarg]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/jh/2006/jh060925.gif

[rooobosmith]

http://forums.slickdeals.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=20598&stc=1&d=1161472124

[amythyst]

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/5202/nosinners5ev.gif maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0> (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=53819&t=351999&u2=http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/5202/nosinners5ev.gif) maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0>

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/5678/justbecause9fz.gif maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0> (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=53819&t=351999&u2=http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/5678/justbecause9fz.gif) maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0>

http://img49.imageshack.us/img49/9596/goofs2dl.gif maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0> (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=53819&t=351999&u2=http://img49.imageshack.us/img49/9596/goofs2dl.gif) maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0>

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/4131/debateisabout5po.gif maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0> (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=53819&t=351999&u2=http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/4131/debateisabout5po.gif) maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0>

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/2658/deathsinvain7mk.gif maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0> (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=53819&t=351999&u2=http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/2658/deathsinvain7mk.gif) maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0>

http://img387.imageshack.us/img387/5840/bushplan9mr.jpg maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0> (http://img387.imageshack.us/img387/5840/bushplan9mr.jpg)

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/4424/lmao3wi.png maxwidth){this.width=maxwidth;} this.style.visibility='visible';" border=0> (http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/4424/lmao3wi.png)

[rooobosmith]

http://forums.slickdeals.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=20646&stc=1&d=1161558813

[mohater]

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=230039721735


http://www.spectre-studios.com/sitebuilder/images/IMGP6986-450x600.jpg
Congressman Mark Foley Action Figure WITN #3

Six inches tall. This is a sculptural Mockup in polymer clay it is not articulated. ONE OF A KIND this is the only one.

Artist David Johnson of SpectreStudios

Please watch this auction.

[rooobosmith]

http://forums.slickdeals.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=20649&stc=1&d=1161560105

[XXnarg]

http://www.greenberg-art.com/.toons/.Toons,%20Calif/qqxsgPelosiToon.gif

http://www.iowapresidentialwatch.com/images/cartoons/ForeignDemsMd.JPG

[thegoalie]

http://cagle.msnbc.com/news/NorthKoreaBomb2/images3/nick.jpg

[Sajid2]

I just want to remind Republicans , there is a special day for you to vote this year, Wednesday November 8, 2006.

[rooobosmith]

"The election is three weeks away and there are rumors the Republicans are getting ready for an election night disaster, which would be a first -- a disaster they were actually prepared for." --Bill Maher

"If recent polls are correct and Democrats win back control of the House and Senate, President Bush's administration will be transformed into an early lame duck. Worse, Cheney will then shoot it." --Seth Meyers

"This is a bleak time for the Republican Party. You know you have trouble when the least embarrassing guy in your group is Arnold Schwarzenegger." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Elections are only a few weeks away and it looks like the Republicans are going to lose a lot of them. I guess desperate times require desperate measures. [on screen: RNC's TV ad depicting another terrorist attack by Osama bin Laden, followed by a reminder to vote 11/7]. Let me get this straight. Osama bin Laden is threatening to attack America again, so what we should do is vote for the people who haven't been able to catch him for the last five years?." --Jimmy Kimmel

"In Las Vegas, a 32-year-old mother told police that Republican Congressman Jim Gibbons, who is running for governor in Nevada, got drunk, put his hand on her thigh, complained about his marriage and then tried to have sex with her in the parking garage. A congressman trying to have sex with an adult woman? This is the best news Republicans have had in years." --Jay Leno

"Bush says there are similarities between Iraq and Vietnam. Of course, the big difference is, his dad could get him out of Vietnam." --Jay Leno

"Bush held a dinner for prominent Muslims to mark the end of the Muslim holiday of Ramadan. Before the dinner, President Bush brushed up on Muslim culture by watching the movie, 'Aladdin.' He's excited to meet Jafar." --Conan O'Brien

"The Iranian government just announced that they are going to slow down Internet access speed because they don't want Iranians to have good Internet service. Apparently, the government is so serious about this they are making all Iranians subscribe to AOL." --Conan O'Brien

"According to a report by the World Energy Experts, North Korea is so short of electricity that the whole country switches off at 9 o'clock. The electricity is shut off at 9 o'clock. So it's a country where few people speak English, they have power outages all the time, they're ruled by a funny looking guy with a strange accent. It's like California without the traffic." --Jay Leno

"A strong 6.6 magnitude earthquake hit Hawaii yesterday morning. Pretty scary. Bush says he wants to do anything he can to help them because he considers Hawaii to be one of our strongest allies. Of course, FEMA was there immediately. Actually, some FEMA had arrived a day earlier to assess the damage from the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor." --Jay Leno

"According to USA Today, most of our nation's cities will be unable to evacuate in the case of a major disaster. Washington, DC, received an F as one of the hardest cities to get out of. Unless, of course, you're a Republican in November. Then it's easy." --Jay Leno

"Florida Congressman Mark Foley is writing a book. The book will be about 400 pages. I don't know how long the book is, but the book will be about 400 pages." --Jay Leno

[rooobosmith]

A man who found himself in Denver with absolutely no memory of who he was or how he got there has now found himself at the epicenter of the midterm election campaign, as the White House moved aggressively today to court his vote.

The amnesia victim, who was known only as "Al" and could not recall any recent events, was instantly pegged as an "ideal voter" by G.O.P. political strategist Karl Rove, who flew the man to Washington today for a private meeting with President Bush in the White House.

"Here's a guy who has no memory of Iraq, Tom DeLay, Jack Abramoff, or Mark Foley," Mr. Rove told reporters today. "From where I sit, I think we have a chance at getting this guy's vote."

According to White House aides, the amnesia victim's meeting with the president went well, and was capped by Mr. Bush presenting him with the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

"The guy didn't seem to know exactly why he was getting it," one aide said. "But then again, the same could be said of a lot of past recipients."

Elsewhere, 32% of Americans approve of President Bush's handling of Iraq, while 0% approve of Mark Foley's handling of congressional pages. Satire by Andy Borowitz at http://www.borowitzreport.com

[rooobosmith]

http://www.slickdeals.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=20874&stc=1&d=1161892237

[XXnarg]

http://www.coxandforkum.com/archives/05.11.13.HistortRewrite-X.gif

[XXnarg]

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/Y/c/hillary_rambabe.jpg

[afx]

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/Y/c/hillary_rambabe.jpg

:lol:.

http://www.dorkinglabs.com/fim/112.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://www.iowapresidentialwatch.com/images/cartoons/SpotMd.JPG

[XXnarg]

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/jmi0208l.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2006114659027.gif

[catluver]

http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2006114659027.gif

love that!

[XXnarg]

http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2006101221628.gif

[XXnarg]

http://www.comics.com/comics/frazz/archive/images/frazz2006102104719.jpg

[Aoie_emesai]

People sure love to use Bush (or any president) as a main target for their attacks, even though he's just a political figure but more he's like a celebrity.

ps: Bush = Puppet of the United States Government. IMO :drool:

http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2006101221628.gif

Love that comic 0_O

[rayzac]

Now that most have seen this thread, I am removing it as a sticky.

If you are not already familiar with the feature, you can make this a personal sticky if you wish. Go to thread tools and choose stick this thread to the top.

[adr]

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=230039721735

Best part of that sculpture is warning label on the box that says "Warning: Not intended for children"

[XXnarg]

TERRORIST ACTIVITY HAS CAUSED THE DEMOCRATS TO TAKE MEASURES IN ORDER TO PROTECT THEIR FAIR-HAIRED CANDIDATE FOR THE PRESIDENCY. FOR SECURITY REASONS, THEY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT THEY HAVE A MUSLIM NAME.
SO, FROM NOW ON, PLEASE REFER TO THEM BY THEIR NEW MUSLIM NAME:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1180000/images/_1183906_hillary_ap150.jpg



SELDOM BIN LAYED

[ASG]

It was a bad sign when the launch customer for the new Boeing 787 was startup Air Gitmo, an ultra-no-frills carrier that will jam the maximum number of people into the minimum space by strapping passengers down so they cannot move their limbs during the flight. A Wall Street darling and endorsed last week by Vice President Dick Cheney, Air Gitmo plans to offer low fares but no meals and no human rights. Passengers must sign waivers of the Geneva Convention, the Constitution and the Peace of Westphalia. Water will be rationed; blaring rock music will insure in-flight sleep deprivation; anyone who presses the flight-attendant call button will receive an electric shock. The Air Gitmo marketing slogan -- "We Give 'Now Ready for Boarding' a Whole New Meaning" -- says it all.

-Gregg Easterbrook

[XXnarg]

Here's a funny satire piece I got in the mail a couple of days ago from MoveOn.org, with Dick Cheney as the faked sender:

"Dear" MoveOn member,

I've commandeered the MoveOn email system to deliver an urgent message from the White House: DO NOT go to one of these MoveOn Pre-Halloween phone parties this weekend!

According to my intelligence briefings, MoveOn members will be calling progressive voters in key congressional districts and asking them to vote. That could tip the election!

These insidious phone parties are all over the place. There's even one right near you. So whatever you do, DO NOT follow the link below to find and R.S.V.P. for a phone party this weekend.

http://pol.moveon.org/event/events/index.html (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=16556&t=351999&u2=http://pol.moveon.org/event/events/index.html)

Heck, nobody loves Halloween more than Dubya and myself. We usually like to sit on the White House stoop and hand out subsidies to neighborhood oil companies. But this year, it's is a different story. This is a Code Red emergency!

If these lunatics get their way, you won't even recognize America: Everyone walking around with guaranteed health care, clean energy as far as the eye can see, and big corporations cruelly denied their right to pick who wins elections. Halliburton is so mad they've threatened to cut off my stipend!

So DON'T go to a Call for Change party this weekend and DON'T make any more calls! In fact, if you even think of going to one these parties, I'll take you quail hunting.

One more time, here's the link for you to find and R.S.V.P for a party near you. Avoid it at all costs.

http://pol.moveon.org/event/events/index.html?action_id=61&id6 (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=16556&t=351999&u2=http://pol.moveon.org/event/events/index.html?action_id=61&id6)

Thanks for staying quiet and letting us run the country,

–Vice President Dick Cheney
Friday, October 27th, 2006

P.S. OK, so this was actually not written by Vice President Dick Cheney. But if wiping that smirk off Cheney's face seems like a good idea to you too, then we hope you'll join us this weekend. These elections are down to the wire, and every call we make this weekend will make a huge and immediate difference.
PAID FOR BY MOVEON.ORG POLITICAL ACTION,

http://pol.moveon.org/ (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=16556&t=351999&u2=http://pol.moveon.org/)

Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

[rooobosmith]

In his boldest stroke to date to break the logjam over illegal immigration, President George W. Bush today proposed a "guest voter" program for illegal immigrants that would make them eligible to vote in the midterm elections on Nov. 7.

Speaking at a press conference at the White House this morning, Mr. Bush said that his "guest voter" proposal would allow illegal immigrants to attain full citizenship status for one day only.

"Illegal immigrants are important to this country, because they do many of the things that other Americans are unwilling to do," the president said. "Like voting."

According to the president's plan, undocumented immigrants would be bused to special "naturalization/voting booths" on November 7 where they could become citizens for the day simply by pulling a lever.

"Then, when their work is done, we'll make sure they're back on the other side of the border by November 8," Mr. Bush said. "Everyone wins."

But Mr. Bush's guest voter program received mix reviews from congressional Democrats, many of whom believe that glitches in the so-called naturalization/voting booths could lead to invalid election results.

In particular, critics have complained that in an early prototype of the booth, the translation of the phrase "I want to be a U.S. citizen" appeared as "Vote for all Republican candidates with this lever."

Unfazed by the critics, Mr. Bush said he would move forward with this and other immigration proposals, including building a 700-foot fence around Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-New York).

Elsewhere, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff today raised the national threat level to red after intelligence reports indicated that a national election could be imminent.

Elsewhere (2), Iraqi Prime Minister Kamal al-Maliki denied that he was a puppet of the United States, adding that he wanted to become "a real boy."

Elsewhere (3), the White House urged reporters "not to read anything into" reports that Vice President Dick Cheney has invited former Rep. Mark Foley on a hunting trip. Satire by Andy Borowitz at http://www.borowitzreport.com

************************************************** ************************************************** *******************

"Halloween is when little kids come to your house looking for candy. Or as Congressman Mark Foley calls it, 'speed dating.'." --Jay Leno

""I understand President Bush has his costume all picked out to scare people. He's going to dress up as Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"Rush Limbaugh recently upset a lot of people because he accused Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his Parkinson's disease symptoms for political reasons. Then Limbaugh accused Stevie Wonder exaggerating his blindness for free sunglasses." --Conan O'Brien

"These activist judges are at it again. The New Jersey Supreme Court says homosexuals actually have the same civil rights as straight people, which means they can marry. See, this is the difference between Democrats and Republicans. Democrats want gays to get married. Republicans know congressmen need to be able to play the field." --Bill Maher

"Officials said Tuesday that Iraqis have agreed to develop a timetable for progress in stabilizing Iraq. So there you have it. There's now a timetable for establishing a timetable. Welcome home, boys!." --Amy Poehler

"Have you heard about the Michael J. Fox situation? He's been doing ads in support of candidates who are for stem cell research. And Rush Limbaugh attacked him and said that Michael J. Fox was off his medication when he filmed the ad, so that he'd look shakier. He said, if he's not going to take his prescription drugs, he knows a fat drug addict who will." --Bill Maher

"The Dixie Chicks have a new movie and they want to advertise it but NBC says they won't show the ad because it's disparaging to President Bush. I've got news for NBC. So is your evening newscast, but you keep showing that." --Bill Maher

"NBC cancelled a Halloween showing of 'Night of the Living Dead,' because they thought it would be disparaging to Cheney." --Bill Maher

"Bush has authorized the building of a 700-mile fence. A 700-mile fence they're going to build between the United States and Mexico. And, he says ... he knows where we can get some cheap labor to build it. ... That's a pretty long fence. I'm thinking to myself, 'I just hope there's a way Halliburton can make some money off of this deal. It would be nice to throw something their way for a change." --David Letterman

"Bush is getting rid of the phrase, 'stay the course.' That was his phrase for the entire war. ... Maybe the phrase should have been, 'Find bin Laden.' ... Do you miss the old days when the phrase was, 'Stay under the desk'?" --David Letterman

"They were talking to President Bush about what he likes to do in his spare time. He said what he likes to do ... is get on the Internet and he Googles. ... He likes to look at satellite photos of his ranch. Well, great. How about looking for Osama bin Laden?" --David Letterman

[XXnarg]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/jh/2006/jh061102.gif

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_476/boy%20friend.gif

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_476/attack ads.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://usera.imagecave.com/xnarg/prochoice.jpg

[cynical2]

Nice, rooobo and Xnarg...funniest two yet imo.

[redjen910]

The Republican Party today announced that it is changing its national symbol from an elephant to a flesh colored condom because a condom more accurately reflects the present Government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives people a sense of security while they are actually being screwed.

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_476/voting.gif

[XXnarg]

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[XXnarg]

http://www.duke.edu/web/pps114/project/10/Stem_Cell_Cartoon.jpg http://www.bioethics.gov/images/lauritzen_cartoon.gif http://conservativehome.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/embryo.gif

[cynical2]

http://cagle.msnbc.com/working/061101/cagle00.gif

[aclays]

http://www.imageviper.com/displayimage/60559/0/Kerry.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://cagle.msnbc.com/working/040903/ramirez.gif

[cynical2]

:crylol: :crylol:

http://www.cagle.com/news/JohnKerryJoke/images/darkow.gif

:lmao:

[cynical2]

http://www.cagle.com/news/JohnKerryJoke/images/brookins.jpg






http://www.cagle.com/news/JohnKerryJoke/images/allie.jpg


http://www.cagle.com/news/JohnKerryJoke/images/ramirez.jpg

[ASG]

Midterm elections!- Daily Show School House Rock (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FcZJqqA2AI)

[XXnarg]

http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/1579/zzzzzz1jb.png

[paperboy05]

http://cagle.msnbc.com/working/061102/lane.gif

http://www.cagle.com/news/JohnKerryJoke/images/lane.gif

http://cagle.msnbc.com/working/061106/ramirez.jpg

[paperboy05]

http://cagle.msnbc.com/working/061103/parker.gif

http://cagle.msnbc.com/working/061106/englehart.gif

[rooobosmith]

The state of Florida made electoral history once again on Monday, announcing its election results a full twenty-four hours before the polls opened in the state.

The unprecedented speed with which Florida was able to report full election results, with one hundred percent of all precincts reporting, prompted Florida Gov. Jeb Bush to declare the milestone "a victory for Florida's state-of-the-art electronic voting machines."

While most Floridians were still in bed Monday morning, the state's touchscreen voting machines began tallying their votes at a rate of one million votes a second, Gov. Bush confirmed.

"By nine A.M. on Monday, we had complete results," Gov. Bush said. "I don't want to sound cocky or anything, but once again it looks like Florida is leading the way, election-wise."

Gov. Bush added that thanks to the voting machine's record-setting reporting of its election results, Florida voters would be able to stay at home on Tuesday, saving the state's residents millions of dollars in gasoline.

Elsewhere, an Iraqi court sentenced former dictator Saddam Hussein to death by hanging or by living in Baghdad, whichever comes first..

Elsewhere(2), the U.S. economy added 3 million jobs in October, most of them in the field of negative ad production. Satire by Andy Borowitz at http://www.borowitzreport.com

[rooobosmith]

"The unemployment rate came out. It's down to 4.4 -- lowest in the world, which is good news for Republicans. That means after tomorrow, they'll be able to find jobs." --Jay Leno

"In Maryland, the National Black Association created a controversy for running this radio ad [on screen: Announcer saying, 'Democrats passed those black codes and Jim Crow laws. Democrats started the Ku Klux Klan. White hoods and sheets? Republicans freed us from slavery and put our right to vote in the Constitution']. Great ad. It reminds us what this election is really about -- the 1870s." --Stephen Colbert

"The Bush administration is now spending tens of millions of dollars on an ad campaign to convince unmarried adult Americans to stop having sex. So, we're trying to stay the course in Iraq and stop the intercourse here at home." --Jay Leno

"GOP Congressman Don Sherwood of Pennsylvania was recently sued by his Peruvian mistress for allegedly beating and strangling her. Now Sherwood has admitted to having a mistress but denies beating and strangling her. Still, there's probably not a Republican that would be caught dead in the same room as that guy [on screen: Pres. Bush speaking at a Sherwood event]. Oh. Apparently, the president believes his popularity still slightly lower than an alleged Peruvian mistress strangler." --Jon Stewart

"According to Google trends people in the world most likely to look up homosexual activity are in Saudi Arabia, which is the ultimate dilemma for Republicans: gays with oil -- what do we do now?" --Jay Leno

"Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney got full endorsement from President Bush. That's like Curly and Larry getting a vote of confidence from Moe." --David Letterman

"President Bush demanded that Kerry apologize. Can you imagine that -- Bush demanding an apology for someone stumbling over his words? ... Kerry should have tried the Bush strategy: say so many stupid things, no one cares anymore." --Jay Leno

"Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?" --Stephen Colbert

"I think it's important to note that nobody hates the troops more than decorated war hero John Kerry. We're all very, very lucky that we have draft-dodgers like George Bush and Dick Cheney to point that out to us." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Oil prices have now dropped below $58 a barrel, which if my math is correct, means the election is less than a week away. Better fill up by Tuesday." --Jay Leno

"We turned the clocks back over the weekend, which is great news for the Republicans. They got to stay in power for an extra hour." --Jay Leno

"Congressman Duncan Hunter announced he's thinking about running for president in 2008 and he's put together an exploratory committee. The first thing the exploratory committee is going to do is find out, 'Who the hell is Duncan Hunter?'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush warned Democrats not to celebrate too early. This is from the guy who put up the 'Mission Accomplished' sign three years ago." --Jay Leno

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_477/selling iraq.gif

[XXnarg]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/jh/2006/jh061030.gif

[kakomu]

Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54918)

WASHINGTON, DC—After months of aggressive campaigning and with nearly 99 percent of ballots counted, politicians were the big winners in Tuesday's midterm election, taking all 435 seats in the House of Representatives, retaining a majority with 100 out of 100 seats in the Senate, and pushing political candidates to victory in each of the 36 gubernatorial races up for grabs.
Enlarge ImagePoliticians

Prominent politicians from across the country celebrate the election results.

While analysts had been predicting a possible sweep for months, and early exit-poll numbers seemed favorable, politicians reportedly exceeded even their own expectations, gaining an impressive 100 percent of the overall national vote.

"It's a good night to be a politician," said Todd Akin, an officeholder from Missouri. "The American people have spoken, and they have unanimously declared: 'We want elected officials to lead this nation.'"

Already confident they would have an easy time in the Midwest, a region long known for electing politicians, as well as with poll-going Americans in the deep South, politicians also picked up seats in each additional area of the country.
Politicians Win Chart C

"We expected politicians to take Washington, Indiana, Oregon, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Michigan, North Carolina, Maryland, South Carolina, Georgia, North Dakota, Mississippi, Montana, Vermont, Maine, Kentucky, California, Iowa, Alaska, Connecticut, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Alabama, Virginia, Delaware, Wisconsin, and Arkansas," said Georgetown University political science professor Barbara Steward. "But the fact that voters in the urban areas of Rhode Island and the farmlands of West Virginia, along with every other state, all put politicians into office is quite extraordinary."

"Even in the most hotly contested local races that went down to the wire, politicians still came out on top every time," she added.

This year's results are the most unanimous since the last election two years ago, in which politicians enjoyed widespread victories unrivaled since the election before that, and the one in 2000.

Politicians managed to appeal to all economic and ethnic backgrounds, genders, and age groups, enjoying equal success among both liberal voters and conservatives.

Issues advanced by politicians dominated not only the Senate and House races, but also all state, district council, county, and town-board elections.

"It looks like politicians are poised to dominate the political discourse of the country for years to come," said analyst Maria Lawson of the Free Enterprise Institute, who as long ago as December of 2004 had picked congressmen to once again take over the House of Representatives. "This should allow them to pursue their own political agendas almost unimpeded, sign even more bills into law, and appoint fellow politicians to committee chairmanships, special interest commissions, and other posts of power."

Added Lawson: "While it's still too early to tell, after the success of this election, it might not be too long before we see another politician in the White House."
Enlarge ImagePoliticians Win Jump R

Victorious political candidates congratulate other politicians who also won on Tuesday.

Despite fears that the dozens of campaign-finance violations, soft-money misappropriations, infidelity charges, hidden drunk-driving records, and protracted congressional cover-ups leaked just days before the election would hurt their chances, politicians were still elected over non-politicians in every single race.

"The fact that not a single non-politician even ran for office is just further proof that the American people tend to vote for politicians during times of war," Steward said. "Past data also suggests that the American people tend to vote for politicians during times of peace, as well as, generally speaking, every two years."

Some voters, however, such as Arkansas native Patrick Bunter, who first voted for a politician—Harry Truman—in 1948, are calling this latest victory "politics as usual."

"Over the years, I grew disappointed with the job the politicians were doing, yet I kept on voting for them out of loyalty," Bunter said. "This time around, I swore I'd go with someone else, but frankly, looking at the ballot, I didn't see any other choice."

[XXnarg]

http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2006111110511.gif

[Syncretist]

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, “Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died.”

“No problem,” the man said. “I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.

Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!

Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground.

But wouldn’t you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die. This ticked me off even more.

In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get my hands on to throw at him.

Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!

The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly.”

The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, “OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up To the Angel’s surprise, it was Donald Trump.

“Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died.”

Trump said, “No problem. But you’re not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!

Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn’t die right away.

As I’m laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly.”

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. “I could get used to this new policy,” he thinks to himself. “Very well,” the Angel announces. “Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and he lets Trump enter.

A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel’s head. Finally he says, “Mr. President, please tell me what it was like the day you died.”

Clinton says, “OK, picture this. I’m naked, inside a refrigerator……”

[Syncretist]

Why bread is extremely dangerous for you

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called “dough.” It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a “gateway” food item, leading the user to “harder” items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

[Momto2pooches]

This humor is not organic. I see a lot of copy & paste. Please come over to the Lounge on 11/12/06 and visit with us. You might have fun and make some new buddies :lol: :lol:

[Imerson]

This humor is not organic. I see a lot of copy & paste. Please come over to the Lounge on 11/12/06 and visit with us. You might have fun and make some new buddies :lol: :lol:
:iagree:

11/12/06 is the OFFICIAL Visit the Loungers Day. Please come over for some free entertainment.

[cynical2]

http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/model1-dnr.jpghttp://www.thoseshirts.com/images/model-rdf-1.jpg


http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/imaoun500.gif

http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/model-french.jpg http://www.thoseshirts.com/images/square-med-lie.jpg

[riptide_slick]

http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/2875/111206600x477meyerxp5.gif

[XXnarg]

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[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_478/arummy trial.gif

[rooobosmith]

Scientists Demote Bush Presidency to Dwarf Status

An international group of scientists who demoted the planet Pluto to dwarf status three months ago met in Oslo, Norway today and reclassified the Bush White House as a dwarf presidency.

In the aftermath of the midterm elections, in which the president's party lost control of both the House and the Senate, the scientists called an emergency meeting in Oslo to determine if the Bush administration in fact still qualified as a presidency.

But with the president's approval rating in a free fall, it became clear even before the scientists convened that some sort of reclassification along the lines of the Pluto demotion was in order.

"When the president's approval rating fell below Kevin Federline's, that was the last nail in the coffin," said Dr. Hiroshi Kyosuke of the University of Tokyo.

According to Dr. Kyosuke, one of the seventy scientists who gathered in Oslo to reassess the Bush presidency, dwarf status means that Mr. Bush is "less than a president, but more than a mayor."

Elsewhere, with the USS Intrepid mired in mud and unable to budge, officials were considering a variety of options, including renaming it the USS George W. Bush. Satire by Andy Borowitz at www.borowitzreport.com

[rooobosmith]

"Tomorrow President Bush is leaving for Vietnam. I guess this time his father couldn't get him out of it." --David Letterman

"President Bush's dad is stepping in to help with Iraq, and he is not happy. This could be the first time a sitting president could be grounded." --Jay Leno

"This week President Bush is flying to Asia to meet with leaders of Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, Singapore, Thailand and Vietnam. Or, as President Bush calls them, China." --Conan O'Brien

"On Tuesday night, in an ironic turnaround, Iraq brought regime change to the U.S." --Amy Poehler

"Germany is filing a war crimes lawsuit against Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld for allegedly allowing the torture of prisoners in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay. Man, that's when you know you've crossed the line -- when Germans are accusing you of war crimes." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday, Bush had lunch with the new Democratic Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. I believe the main course was Rumsfeld's head on a platter." --Jay Leno

"On Thursday, the Army launched its new recruitment slogan, 'Army Strong,' which replaces their previous slogan, 'Army of One.' Meanwhile, the Navy is sticking with their recruiting slogan, 'Iraq: It's Almost Entirely Landlocked.'." --Seth Meyers

"Today is Veteran's Day, so that won't affect anyone in the White House." --Seth Meyers

"The only thing that really broke for conservatives on Tuesday was gay marriage. You know what state bucked the trend? Arizona. Conservative Arizona. I love Arizonans. They don't care if gays get married as along as they're not marrying a Mexican." --Bill Maher

"As a result of this week's election, the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is now the most powerful woman in the country. After hearing this, Oprah Winfrey said, 'Yeah right.'." --Conan O'Brien

"You got to give (Rumsfeld) credit it though. It might have taken him six years, but he finally came up with an exit strategy." --Jay Leno

"You know what GOP stands for? Going Out of Power." --Jay Leno

"It's ironic because Republicans always wanted to appeal to minorities. Now they are one." --Jay Leno

"Today, Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld announced he's stepping down. Rumsfeld said, 'I made the decision after it became clear that I couldn't do my job effectively--and then I waited three years.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Here in California, the voters overwhelmingly decided they do not want Arnold Schwarzenegger to ever make another movie." --Jay Leno

"The only Republican now with a mandate is Congressman Mark Foley." --Jay Leno

"Donald Rumsfeld has been let go. Insiders describe Rumsfeld's reaction as shocked and awed. How does that make Rumsfeld feel when George Bush tells you you're not competent enough?." --Jay Leno

"Donald Rumsfeld has resigned and the new Secretary of Defense is a guy named Robert Gates. He's a close friend of the Bush family. Yeah, that always works out pretty well. Rumsfeld took it pretty well. He said he's eager now to move on to try and legalize torture in the private sector." --David Letterman
11.09.06

[XXnarg]

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___________________________


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___________________________

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[trancepire]

Rumsfeld Gets Cute At The Podium. (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=42909&t=351999&u2=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5P6MLiKEJI)

[paperboy05]

Rumsfeld Gets Cute At The Podium. (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=42909&t=351999&u2=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5P6MLiKEJI)

That is awesome!!

[rooobosmith]

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[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_478/ameasuring%20bush.jpg
http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_478/abush%20and%20dems.gif

[Kung-Fu Jesus]

*coughs loudly*

http://128.121.115.83/something/kkkramer.jpg

[Kung-Fu Jesus]

Hah, nice move! :D

[XXnarg]

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[XXnarg]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/wpswi/2006/wpswi061124.gif

[XXnarg]

http://content.todayscartoons.uclick.com/?feature=7d8660789a843b64a41474cf4933ba7c

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_479/iraq3.jpg

[rooobosmith]

"Tomorrow at the White House, President Bush will pardon the turkey ... and today, Dick Cheney spent all day torturing it" --David Letterman

"President Bush on Monday met for more than an hour with the independent panel examining strategic options for Iraq and cautioned afterward that while he's open to new ideas, he'd like them to come only from people who agree with him." --Amy Poehler

"President Bush, trying to gain international support in Iraq ... met with leaders in Vietnam. ... Experts say nothing builds support for a war like a trip to Vietnam." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday in a 25 to 24 vote, Republicans welcomed back Lott back into their leadership and named him minority whip. That is great for Trent. They say minority whip is a stepping stone to Grand Wizard." --Stephen Colbert

"President Bush now in his eight day trip to China. His approval rating is 31%. Not good. To give you an idea of how unpopular President Bush is, on Air Force One now, he can't even get the window seat." --Jay Leno

"According to the Washington Times, there's a revolt brewing among Republicans in the House. People are, of course, shocked by this. There are still Republicans in the House?" --Jay Leno

"President Bush said he is now listening to Democrats in a new way -- without wiretaps." --Jay Leno

"2008. The field's already getting crowded with candidates. Everyone knows about Hillary and McCain, but who else has a shot? On the Republican side, Rudy Giuliani. Hero. 9/11. Time person of the year. Member of the comb over club. But also a member of the New York, divorced, pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-stem cell research, gay-friendly wing of the Republican Party. I'm sorry, did I say wing? I meant room. Did I say room? I meant corner. Did I say corner? I meant table -- for one." --Jon Stewart

"Convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff entered federal prison today to start a six-year sentence for fraud. Here's the beautiful thing about Jack Abramoff -- the FBI did not want Jack Abramoff sent to jail because he was telling them so much about corrupt officials. They don't want him to go to prison away from DC because they don't want to commute every day to hear about more stories of corruption. That's America, baby." --Jon Stewart

"The Marine Corps' Toys for Tots program started today. Former Congressman Mark Foley got a little confused. You see, he went down there and thought he could trade some toys for tots." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is traveling. He's in Southeast Asia. Earlier today, he arrived in Vietnam -- better late than never." --David Letterman

"President Bush just announced that next month he will host a White House conference on Malaria. Bush told reporters, 'I'm looking forward to meeting the Malarians.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Political experts say President Bush planned a trip to several foreign countries this week because he is unpopular at home. In response, the White House said, That's ridiculous. The president is just as unpopular overseas." --Conan O'Brien

"In 2008, Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York City, may run for president. And if elected, he'll take a no-nonsense approach to Iraq. And the first thing he's going to do over there is get rid of the squeegee guys." --David Letterman

"President Bush met with the 10-member Iraqi study group to hear their assessment of Iraq. ... They are now preparing the report. We have an advanced copy here. It's called, 'We are so screwed.'" --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, President Bush met with the three big U.S. automakers at the White House. To give you an idea of how well things are going, the three big U.S. automakers are now Tonka, Matchbox and Hot Wheels." --Jay Leno

"Democrats say now that they control the House and the Senate, they plan to raise the minimum wage. The Democrats say they are raising the minimum wage because something must be done to protect Kevin Federline's future." --Conan O'Brien

[Kung-Fu Jesus]

New Kramer apology. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjnm8fzRExc)

This one is probably borderline. It is a joke and meant to be funny not mean, but people might take it the wrong way.

[rooobosmith]

New Kramer apology. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjnm8fzRExc)

This one is probably borderline. It is a joke and meant to be funny not mean, but people might take it the wrong way.At least he did not call him Macaca. :D

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_479/iraq1.jpg

[XXnarg]

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[XXnarg]

http://www.adamzyglis.com/images/cartoon225.jpg

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_480/civil%20war2.gif

[rooobosmith]

Bush: US Committed to Finding New Synonyms for Civil War


President George W. Bush said today that he would not allow a civil war in Iraq to erupt on his watch, and said that in order to prevent that from happening the United States would aggressively search for new synonyms for the phrase "civil war."

In order to seek out the most sanitized alternatives to that phrase, the president announced that he was launching an ambitious new mission called Operation Noble Euphemism.

Showing his trademark steely resolve, Mr. Bush told reporters at the White House that the US was prepared to hunt down every last thesaurus on Earth and would not quit until the job was done.

As if to demonstrate the high priority he was placing on finding new synonyms,
Mr. Bush said that the government would spend $12 billion, most of which had been previously earmarked to find Osama bin Laden.

But critics of Operation Noble Euphemism were skeptical of its outcome, particularly after the White House unsuccessfully launched a slogan contest last month to replace the phrase "stay the course."

That contest, which was announced with much fanfare, was abandoned after a leak revealed that the top contender was "slog through the mire."

White House spokesman Tony Snow attempted to quiet those critics today, saying that "the United States is committed to finding a lasting euphemism for civil war in Iraq."

Mr. Snow refused to say which if any euphemisms were under consideration, but did say that the White House had already ruled out "Shiitepalooza." Satire by Andy Borowitz at http://www.borowitzreport.com

[Kung-Fu Jesus]

Rumsfeld Gets Cute At The Podium. (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=42909&t=351999&u2=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5P6MLiKEJI)


:lol: some of those are pretty good.

[XXnarg]

http://illinoisreview.typepad.com/illinoisreview/images/cartoon_6.jpg

[ripcurl]

http://www.zipperfish.com/free/yaafm12.php

[rooobosmith]

"First Daughter Barbara Bush had her purse stolen. Somebody snatches her purse. What was in that purse, her father's plan for Iraq. Now we have to start all over again. A lot of people wondering if President Bush will be mad at his daughter for losing her purse. Hey, he lost the House and Senate." --Jay Leno

"Former evangelist James Dobson says he wants to work on the panel that's going to help his friend Ted Haggert go from being gay to not gay, but he says the process could take 4-5 years, and he says he doesn't have the time. See I would love to be on that panel, teaching the guy how not to be gay. What, are you going to strip clubs all day? Having all your lunches at Hooters?" --Jay Leno

"Henry Kissinger says the war in Iraq is un-winnable. And if anybody knows how not to win a war its Henry Kissinger." --Jay Leno

"Every year, President Bush gets to pardon one turkey, and this year it was Donald Rumsfeld." --David Letterman

"President Bush pardoned the White House turkey today. A lot of people are wondering why this particular bird was chosen to be saved. It turns out this turkey had donated thousands of dollars to the Republican National Committee." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is back from his big trip to Asia. In fact, this is the first time he was able to get out of Vietnam without any help from his dad." --Jay leno

"Long-time congressional leader Charles Rangel has announced he wants to bring back the draft. This could get a lot more guys signing up for ROTC. I was in ROTC -- Run Off to Canada." --Jay Leno

"A new poll finds that 60 percent of Americans think George W. Bush is a worse president than his father. However, President Bush's advisers cheered him up by telling him he's the second best George Bush who's ever been president." --Conan O'Brien

[XXnarg]

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[redjen910]

The Trojan Condom Company had announced a new line of condoms featuring George Bush as their pitchman.

Bush condoms-for dumb farkers who don't know when to pull out.

[XXnarg]

http://www.nypost.com/seven/12072006/photos/cover.jpg

[rooobosmith]

What Right Wingers see when they read the NY Times. (http://rightwingnytimes.cf.huffingtonpost.com/)

[rooobosmith]

"Conservative columnist Dennis Prager this week blasted Minnesota Democrat Keith Ellison, the first Muslim elected to Congress, for his decision to take the oath of office with his hand on a Koran instead of a Bible. Like this guy did [on screen: Tom DeLay]. Or this guy [on screen: Mark Foley]. Or this guy [on screen: Richard Nixon]. All bibles." --Seth Myers

"First Lady Laura Bush was on TV unveiling the White House menu for Christmas Dinner. ... For dessert, I guess they're going to feast on whatever or whoever Dick Cheney shoots that day." --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Bush met with the Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki. ... Afterwards President Bush said 'Maliki is the right man for the job.' Just to remind you, President Bush also said FEMA's Michael Brown was the right man for the job, Donald Rumsfeld, right man for the job, Tom DeLay was the right man for the job, which would be ok if Bush was the right man for the job." --Jay Leno

"President Bush stopped in Estonia to thank them for their help in Iraq. ... Remember the old days when our allies were countries like Italy, Spain, Germany. Now we're down to like Estonia, Latvia. Yes, the United States and Lichtenstein stand together!" --Jay Leno

"Amid this environment of treachery, the president visited one of his last bastions of support, the Baltic states, whose love for America clearly indicates we're better than Stalinist Russia." --Jon Stewart

"There's talk that Vice President Gore could win an Oscar for his movie. ... If he does get it, it would be his first win since the presidency in 2000." --Jay Leno

"The president's twin daughters are celebrating their 25th birthday with a trip to Argentina. Apparently their trip has caused what's known as chaos, to the point where, according to ABCNews.com, the American embassy and many Argentinian officials have strongly suggested the twins return to America. Just to repeat, Argentina, former safe-haven for Nazi war criminals, is drawing the line at the Bush twins." --Jon Stewart

"The Bush administration is upset with NBC News because NBC News has started referring to the situation in Iraq as a civil war. White House officials say they prefer the term explosion-filled misunderstanding." --Conan O'Brien

"The Pentagon is trying to convince Germany to send more troops to the war in Iraq. This marks the first time anyone has asked the Germans to send more troops." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush is putting together his presidential library, and apparently the library is going to cost $500 million, which works out to $100 million per book. Expensive books, they're popouts." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush is preparing to build his presidential library. ... Bush's is expected to cost $500 million. That's more than three times the cost of the Clinton library, and more than all the other libraries combined, which makes you wonder, how many Garfield books can there be?" --Jimmy Kimmel

"It's not that the library is going to be extravagant. It's just that he's hiring Haliburton to build it. They're the best." --Jimmy Kimmel

"NBC has announced that they will know refer to the Iraq war as a civil war. ... President Bush said no no no no no, it's not a civil war until it becomes a series of Time Life books." --David Letterman

"The Christmas tree was delivered to the White House yesterday. Just what we need at the White House, more dead wood." --David Letterman

"Mitt Romney may run for president. Some wonder if a Mormon could be elected president. I think he'd make a fine president. He'd be standing up there with his 18 first ladies." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is trying to raise $500 million for the Bush Presidential Library. It's not just a library, it will also contain a think tank, because when you think George W. Bush you think thinking." --David Letterman

"Vice President Dick Cheney visited Saudi Arabia over the weekend, and he's very popular in Saudi Arabia, over there he's known as Lawrence of Arrhythmia." --David Letterman

"Security's so bad for the Bush twins, the U.S. Embassy has asked them to leave Argentina and they said no. Like father, like daughter, they have no exit strategy." --Jay Leno

"This week President Bush is planning to attend a two-day NATO summit to discuss strategies for the war in Afghanistan. President Bush will be giving a speech called "Strategies, Who's Got One?'" --Conan O'Brien

[XXnarg]

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[XXnarg]

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[amythyst]

I don't want to say that George Bush is a lame duck, but this morning, Cheney shot him.

— Bill Maher
on President Bush

[XXnarg]

http://vikingphoenix.com/cartoons/rosie559.gif

[rooobosmith]

Just days after the Iraq Study Group issued their downbeat assessment of the war on Iraq, Iraqi insurgents announced that they have formed their own study group and have released their own report, one that offers a much rosier picture of the Iraqi conflict.

The Insurgents Study Group, a collection of ten elder insurgents charged with the duty of assessing the war from the insurgents’ point of view, today issued a 147-page report which became an instant bestseller among insurgent readers across Iraq.

“The war in Iraq is going great and is improving every day,” the Insurgents Study Group’s report begins.

In contrast to the Iraq Study Group’s report, which advocates that the United States and its allies change their strategy in Iraq, the Insurgents Study Group recommends “not changing a thing.”

“As insurgents, our strategy could be summarized in three words,” the report concludes. “Stay the course.” Satire by Andy Borowitz at http:www.borowitzreport.com

[rooobosmith]

"President Bush has received a copy of the 96-page Iraq Study Group report. When they gave it to him, President Bush said, 'Don't tell me how it ends.' They said, 'Uh, it doesn't.'" --Jay Leno

The long anticipated Iraq Study Group report was delivered to President Bush this week. He promised to take it just as seriously as all the other Iraq reports stuffed down between his desk and the wall." -- Amy Poehler

"You know the part of the Iraqi report that concerns President Bush the most? Having to read it." --Jay Leno

"Today the House Ethics Committee ... released its report on Mark Foley. ... Well, they found willful ignorance, but no rules were broken. They said the whole thing was proper according to the law. Okay, Cardinal Bernard law. .. Hitting on kids is not a crime? Who was chairing this commission, Michael Jackson." --Jay Leno

"Earlier in the week, NASA announced plans to establish a manned base on the moon. President Bush was quick to point out, 'We're only going to stay on the moon until the moon people are able to govern themselves. ... President Bush also suggested waiting until there was a full moon, so there would be more places to land.'" --Jay Leno

"Vice President Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary, is pregnant. ... The big guessing game in Washington now is who donated the sperm? I'm guessing Ann Coulter." --Jay Leno

"It is in book form and entitled, 'The Way Forward -- A New Approach,' a stark contrast from the book Bush had been operating from, 'Deeper and Deeper into the Hole That I Myself Have Dug.'" --Jon Stewart, on the Iraq Study Group report

"According to a new study, children figure out the truth about Santa Claus between the ages of three and six. Although the study says that the age is much later for some U.S. presidents." --Conan O'Brien

"NASA's planning to return to the moon. ... NASA says that when we go back this time we're going to have a permanent base, and by 2027 astronauts will be living on the moon year round. ... Here's the thing. NASA gave no cost estimate or design details. That's right, a giant project with no blueprint, no budget perimeters and no timetable. Which means there is only one person who could make this thing work -- Donald Rumsfeld. ... NASA, snap him up. His resume's already been on Monster.com for two weeks." --Stephen Colbert

"Today was the first and only day of confirmation hearings for his replacement Robert Gates. ... The committee immediately confirmed the guy. They really only had one question: Are you now or have you ever been Donald Rumsfeld? He said, 'No.' ... He showed them his driver's license and utility bill, and boom, they confirmed him." --Stephen Colbert

"Now three schools are in the running for the George Bush presidential library. I understand the losing school will get it." --Jay Leno

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_482/choices.gif

[XXnarg]

http://content.todayscartoons.uclick.com/?feature=d9958b13c5fceb264dd7a9d4bac2c5cf

[mammothwoolly]

http://content.todayscartoons.uclick.com/?feature=d9958b13c5fceb264dd7a9d4bac2c5cf
Don't get it.

[rooobosmith]

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[XXnarg]

http://www.cnsnews.com/cartoon/kellyimages/2005/Democrats-Explain-Their-Vot.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://www.cnsnews.com/cartoon/kellyimages/2006/Senate-Democrats-on-Gas-Pri.jpg

http://img.slate.com/media/1/123125/123090/2133846/2133858/060126_RM_cartoon.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://www.nealo.com/toons/data/upimages/cartoon0119-small.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://cagle.msnbc.com/working/061214/walthandelsman.gif

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_482/training.gif

[XXnarg]

http://usera.imagecave.com/xnarg/Hitlary1.jpg

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_482/spin%20sm.gif

[~Kimber~]

http://usera.imagecave.com/xnarg/Hitlary1.jpg

Is it just me or does this not even make sense?

BTW..hi Xnarg! Happy holidays! :hug:

[XXnarg]

http://studentnewsdaily.com/uploads/al_gore.jpg

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/rrs/lowres/rrsn92l.jpg

[rooobosmith]

Cheney: Rumsfeld ‘Is the Finest Secretary of Defense This Nation Has Ever Had’ (http://thinkprogress.org/2006/12/15/cheney-rumsfeld-best-ever/)

George Bush’s biggest fear is the new Democratic majority may embrace the “M” word. Mpeachment. -- Daily Dose of Durst 12.15.06 (http://progressive.org/node/3568)

[XXnarg]

http://californiaconservative.org/images/_DNC_cutandrun.jpg

[rooobosmith]

Lou Dobbs Warns Santa Not to Cross U.S. Border


CNN anchor Lou Dobbs devoted his entire news broadcast last night to a searing expose of Santa Claus in which he warned the legendary fat man not to cross the United States’ border with Canada on Christmas Eve.

Mr. Dobbs has made “America’s broken borders” one of his signature crusades in recent years, but even for viewers familiar with his incendiary rants about illegal immigration and cheap foreign imports, his attack on Santa Claus seemed particularly vitriolic.

“To our knowledge, Santa Claus is a resident of the North Pole and therefore is doing business in the United States as an undocumented worker,” Mr. Dobbs told his television audience. “In short, he is taking jobs away from hard-working American toy-delivery personnel while the government looks the other way.”

Mr. Dobbs also pressed Congress to open a “full investigation” into the country of origin of the gift items in Santa Claus’ sack.

Elsewhere, outgoing Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was hailed as the greatest defense secretary the United States has ever had by insurgents across Iraq.

Elsewhere (2), as part of a new plan to eradicate the insurgents, President Bush said he favors increasing the number of Taco Bells in Iraq. Satire by Andy Borowitz at www.borowitzreport.com

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_483/new%20slogan.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://www.coxandforkum.com/archives/04.10.19.PreemptVote-X.gifhttp://www.pritchettcartoons.com/illustration/dems.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://www.liberty-news.com/cartoons/DemocratSenatorRobertByrdNotBetter.jpg

[rooobosmith]

"This California company that was charged to build this stupid fence along the border of Mexico has been charged with hiring illegal immigrants. ... Prosecutors say this is the worst case of irony they have ever seen." --Jay Leno

"Today at the White House, President Bush signed a deal that would send nuclear fuel to India. When asked about the Indian deal, President Bush said it's the least we can do after stealing your land." --Conan O'Brien

"Barack Obama was in New Hampshire Sunday. When informed of this, President Bush excitedly asked, 'Did we catch 'em?' --Seth Meyers

"The White House announced this week it will not have a new Iraq strategy until after the start of the new year. ... Apparently, President Bush is hoping that Santa will bring him one." --Jay Leno

"CNN said today that President Bush is seriously considering sending more troops to Iraq, so apparently his goal is to achieve a negative popularity rating." --Jay Leno

"This week a top general at the Pentagon said the War on Terror could take a 100 years to fight. President Bush was furious about the 100-year prediction and said, 'Stop setting a fixed timetable'" --Conan O'Brien

"A new poll shows that one in five Americans believe they can't trust President Bush. To put it another way, more Americans would be comfortable accepting a ride from Nicole Richie." --David Letterman

"They had the Iraqi Commission report and President Bush says he will not make a decision about getting us out of Iraq until 2007. He says he wants to give it some careful thought ... unlike getting us into Iraq." --David Letterman

"This is an anniversary. Do you know what happened on this day in 2003? We found Saddam Hussein. And isn't it nice that since we've captured Saddam Hussein, we haven't had to worry about terrorism or nuts with nuclear weapons? Everything's so much better now" --David Letterman

"Here's an interesting lawsuit. A judge has ruled that because all paper money feels the same, the government discriminates against the blind. I think that's unfair. The government doesn't discriminate against the blind. Hey, isn't that who led us into Iraq?" --Jay Leno

"President Bush actually said today he will not be rushed into a decision about Iraq. I guess one time is enough for him." --Jay Leno

"President Bush today completed what he called 'a listening tour.' He met and pretended to be listening to various people from the State Department and the Pentagon -- all the people he should have met with before the war" --Jimmy Kimmel

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_483/cut%20and.gif

[XXnarg]

http://www.cnsnews.com/cartoon/nowakimages/2004/liberalradio.jpg

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_483/best%20secdef.gif

[XXnarg]

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d163/agnapotamus/tattoo.gif

[XXnarg]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/jh/2006/jh061221.gif

[rooobosmith]

"Big changes in Washington. ... Earlier today, new Secretary of Defense Robert Gates flew to Iraq to get a first-hand look of the situation over there. After surveying the situation, Gates was quoted as saying, 'Uh oh.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush admitted we are not winning an Iraq. Sounds like Miss USA is not the only one who has sobered up. Speaking about Iraq, earlier today President Bush said we are not winning, we are not losing. Kind of what I'm doing right now." --David Letterman

"And the President of Iran suffered a very embarrassing setback after voters in Iran elected members of the opposing party in local elections. Huh? Apparently he and President Bush have more in common than they realize. " --Jay Leno

[Mavtech]

This one is dedicated to Xnarg! I don't know if this one has been posted. But, here goes:

2 men are heading up I-95 towards Washington. They hit a traffic jam so bad that cars are not even moving. The driver opens up his window and asks one of the other drivers what's going on. The other driver says "Some terrorists are holding Hillary Clinton, Jesse Jackson, John Kerry, and Al Sharpton for ransom and will pour gas on them and set them on fire unless they are paid $1 Million. So, we are walking around taking up donations from all the drivers." The first driver says, "So, how much do you have so far?" The second driver answers, "About 50 gallons".

[ASG]

Paraphrasing so sorry if something gets lost in delivery:

There was a senator that was just informed of some horrible news: the poor are getting so hungry and desperate that they are resorting to buying/eating dogfood.

"That's terrible!" said the senator. After he thinks a while, he figures it out: "We shall place a tax on dogfood!"

[XXnarg]

http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/uc/20061226/lpo061226.gif

[XXnarg]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/po/2006/po061204.gif

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/po/2006/po061122.gif

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/po/2006/po061101.gif

[XXnarg]

http://usera.imagecave.com/xnarg/4480-Not-Bush_w.jpg

[Syncretist]

26701I thought this was interesting :nod:

[Pinetree09]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYeauG1M_m0&NR :nod:

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_485/sacrifice.gif

[XXnarg]

http://content.cartoonbox.slate.com/?feature=9753ac708cf348d4bd93733e0cb6bde6

[XXnarg]

http://content.cartoonbox.slate.com/?feature=ba60fc4a0094c0066b9a13583352e107

[rooobosmith]

"Earlier today in Washington, funeral services were held for former President Gerald Ford and all the living presidents were there. That doesn't happen often. They all got together. President Carter called Ford a wonderful man. Bill Clinton called Ford a true American. And President Bush called Ford the guy who invented the automobile." --Conan O'Brien

"Today was the funeral for President Gerald Ford. He passed away at 93. A very nice man. ... Ford was the only person to become president without winning an election ... besides President Bush." --Jay Leno

************************************************** ********************************

President George W. Bush has been working around the clock to put the finishing touches on a speech to the American people in which he will announce a comprehensive exit strategy from reality, White House aides confirmed today.

When reports emerged that the president was considering deploying an additional “surge” of troops in Iraq against the advice of military experts and overwhelming public sentiment, many in Washington suspected that the move was part of a larger plan to withdraw from reality entirely.

But not until spokesperson Tony Snow addressed reporters today did the White House officially confirm that the president was about to announce an exit strategy from the land of rational thought.

“The president never intended to occupy the world of reality indefinitely,” Mr. Snow told reporters. “He is planning a new way forward, and that way forward is a one-way ticket to fantasyland.”

Moments after Mr. Snow announced Mr. Bush’s plan to unveil an exit strategy from reality, members of the press corps started peppering him with questions about a deadline by which the president will have totally taken leave of his senses.

The White House spokesperson said that the president refused to set a formal timetable for his withdrawal from reality, but added that it was realistic assume that Mr. Bush’s exit from the real world would be complete by year’s end: “It helps that he’s ninety percent of the way there already.” http://www.borowitzreport.com

[XXnarg]

http://content.cartoonbox.slate.com/?feature=6e09e80213d72f535b6cde35b287f611

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/w/R/limousine_liberal.jpg

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_485/klutz.gif

[ASG]

Fake commercial from "You Don't Know Jack"(transcribing so sorry if I screw something up):

You think you know themeparks?
You haven't had fun til you come to PHILOSOPHER WORLD!

Screw the mouse!
Forget the mountain!
Bush Gardens is for pussies!
You want a themepark? Philosopher World is the place for you!

Enter Plato's Alegory of the Cave (You may never come out!)

Strap yourself into the fastest scientific yet secular perspecive toward state crap(?): The Mach 3 Evaveli!

Try the Utilitarian Ride: It gets you to the end of the ride, and that's all that matters!

Every ride is a tabula rosa waiting to be strapped around your waist and grabbed onto for dear life!

"You'll never lose your absolute spirits with this much to do"

St. Thomas Aquinas' Log Ride!
Ready to Go Karts!
Hobbes' Liviathan!
Twirl yourself silly on the Hoses(?) Spinoza!
Find Thoreau in the Forestland Scavanger Hunt!
Kids, try the new Buridan's Ass Petting Zoo!
One ride and you'll be coming back for tons more!

"God may be dead but heaven is a place called PHILOSOPHER WORLD!"

(In order for some rides to work you must consciously think you are riding them)

[rooobosmith]

Telephone logs recorded by the National Security Agency and obtained by Congress as part of an ongoing investigation suggest that the vice president may have used the Oval Office intercom system to address President Bush at crucial moments, giving categorical directives in a voice the president believed to be that of God.

President Bush sits at his desk in the Oval Office, where he received messages from an intercom voice identifying itself as "God" and thought to have been Vice President Cheney (below).

While journalists and presidential historians had long noted Bush's deep faith and Cheney's powerful influence in the White House, few had drawn a direct correlation between the two until Tuesday, when transcripts of meetings that took place in March and April of 2002 became available.

In a transcript of an intercom exchange recorded in March 2002, a voice positively identified as the vice president's identifies himself as "the Lord thy God" and promotes the invasion of Iraq, as well as the use of torture in prisoner interrogations. Satire from the Onion at http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43189

[XXnarg]

http://cagle.com/news/Pelosi/images/keefe.gif

http://cagle.com/news/Pelosi/images/trever.gif


http://cagle.com/news/Pelosi/images/nick.jpg

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_485/no%20child%20left%20behind.gif

[XXnarg]

http://cagle.com/news/Pelosi/images/ohman.gif

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/Issue_485/execution.gif

[XXnarg]

http://cagle.com/news/Pelosi/images/jones7.gif

[XXnarg]

http://www.pete-online.us/Images2/Kerry/Kerry.Iraq.KamaSutra.jpg

[rooobosmith]

http://www.pete-online.us/Images2/Kerry/Kerry.Iraq.KamaSutra.jpg
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

"Stay the course."

"We've never been 'stay the course' "

[rayzac]

http://www.taylormarsh.com/images/fear.jpg

http://ginacobb.typepad.com/gina_cobb/images/varvel_republican_evolution.gif

[XXnarg]

http://cagle.com/news/ObamaObama/images/keefe.gif

[XXnarg]

http://thepeoplescube.com/images/Progressive_Bible_400.gif


The New Progressive Bible (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=16556&t=351999&u2=http://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=992)


(http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=16556&t=351999&u2=http://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=992) Our latest strategy to lure the religious rubes into the progressive fold of the Democratic Party has resulted in a decisive victory at the polls this November.

To solidify this victory and make it irreversible we must reconcile the defunct old Founding Fathers' Bible with the progressive ideas of wealth redistribution and equality of outcome for all.

But how can this be achieved if nobody in the progressive community can read the old Bible without dismissing it as an odious collection of outdated tales filled with unpleasant people, unhygienic brawlers, monarchism, and lunatic notions about the existence of God?
The Organic Garden of Eden
Pharaoh Has Two Mummies
What Happens in Sodom and Gomorrah Stays in Sodom and Gomorrah
Noah Builds Ark to Survive Global Warming
Jonah Saves the Whale
David Appeases Goliath
The Bilingual Writing on the Wall
The Tower of Babel & The Controlled Demolition Theory
Uncle Samson & The NY Times Reporter Delilah
Judas The ACLU Lawyer
Joseph & Mary Celebrate Holiday Season By Donating Fetus To Federal Embryonic Stem Cell Bank
Government Program Feeds The Multitudes with Five "Whole Grain" Loaves And Two Non-Endangered Fishes

[ASG]

Repost from another thread a while back , but Al Franken's Supply-side Jesus (http://www.beliefnet.com/story/132/story_13245_1.html)

[ASG]

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/8922/ghostbusters23pr.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://steelturman.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/we_are_devo.JPG

In honor of rooobosmith's thread on ID (http://slickdeals.net/forums/showthread.php?sduid=16556&t=419081).

[XXnarg]

http://www.cagle.com/working/061229/stantis.gif

http://www.cagle.com/working/061220/stantis.gif

[XXnarg]

http://www.coxandforkum.com/archives/05.11.06.FreeTirade-X.gif

[rooobosmith]

Just days after the Rev. Pat Robertson claimed on his “700 Club” program that God warned him of “mass killings” in the U.S. late in 2007, God held a rare press conference today to deny having spoken to the controversial televangelist.

For the usually publicity-shy King of the Universe, the press conference held at the Chicago Airport Marriott signaled a sharp break with tradition.

But appearing before the press in His trademark flowing robes and white beard, and carrying what appeared to be a lightning bolt, God said that He decided to convene the extraordinary press briefing because “I had to set the record straight about this.”

“I want to make it clear that at no time at the end of the year did I have any conversation with the Rev. Pat Robertson,” the Supreme Being said. “Personally, I think the guy is delusional.”

God then distributed His personal phone logs for the month of December to prove that He had in fact no contact with the Rev. Robertson.

Answering a reporter’s question, God acknowledged that with war raging around the globe, 2006 had been a “difficult year” for the forces of goodness, but He remained upbeat, pointing to some of His accomplishments in the year just past.

“At least I got Judith Regan fired,” He said. http://www.borowitzreport.com

[XXnarg]

http://www.cagle.com/working/060822/stantis.jpg

[rooobosmith]

Top Ten Bushisms (http://politicalwire.com/archives/2007/01/08/top_ten_bushisms.html)


1. I'm the Decider.
2. I use The Google.
3. It was not always certain that the U.S. and America would have a close relationship.
4. I've got an ek-a-lec-tic reading list
5. The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done.
6. Stay the course.
7. When the final history is written on Iraq, it will look just like a comma.
8. The Congress was right to renew the Terrorist Act.
9. I want to be a war president; no president wants to be a war president.
10. The fiscal year that ended on February the 30th.

[XXnarg]

Top Ten Hillary Clinton Campaign Slogans:10. "Read My Lips - No New Interns"

9. "Reward Me For Putting Up With Bill's Crap For So Long"

8. "Isn't It Time You Were Disappointed By A Different Clinton?"

7. "Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask How You Can Illegally Contribute To My Campaign"

6. "Vote For Me Or My Husband Will Nail Your Wife"

5. "You Give Me A Vote, I'll Get Vernon Jordan To Give You A Job"

4. "Still Not Indicted As Of 2007!"

3. "From Perjury To Albany"

2. "Building A Bridge To The 22nd Century, And Pushing My Husband Over It"
And the NUMBER ONE Hilliary Clinton Campaign Slogan ...1. "Oh Lord, Please Don't Make Me Go Back To Arkansas"

http://www.slick.com/graphics/05home/pope.jpg http://redstatepatriot.com/Hillary.JPG

http://clinton-legacy.org/humor/hillary_peasants.jpg

[rooobosmith]

"We have a new person in the mail room opening mail, President Bush. The president now says the government has the right to open anyone's mail at any time without a warrant. How crazy is that? President Bush finally decided he wants to read something and it's our mail. How about those memos on your desk?" --Jay Leno

"Isn't that kind of frightening to open anyone's mail at any time? Today, in a huge coincidence, President Bush announced he is the winner of the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes." --Jay Leno

"The United States Army is lowering its standards for education and DUI arrests. It's to recruit others, but let's just say they filled the job with the commander-in-chief." --David Letterman

"Today Nancy Pelosi became the first woman Speaker of the House. They say this is the furthest anyone in a dress has gotten in Washington since J. Edgar Hoover." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is claiming that a new postal law gives him the authority to read anyone's letters without a warrant. If you're upset about the law, you can let Bush know by writing to your sister." --Conan O'Brien

"In an interview with the Wall Street Journal, the Prime Minister of Iraq says not only will he not seek a second term in office, he wishes he could quit early. He says he has other interests he'd like to pursue, like trying to stay alive." --Jay Leno

"The latest reports out of Washington say President Bush is planning to send more troops to Iraq, but the White House wants to call it a surge instead of an escalation. Well, duh. A one-syllable word versus a four-syllable word. I wonder which one President Bush would pick." --Jay Leno

"In presidential news, somebody leaked Rudy Giuliani's entire 140-page campaign plan to the press. Giuliani is calling it a dirty trick. He said it was stolen while he was in Florida. Which is not the first time a presidential race has been stolen in Florida." --Jay Leno

"Televangelist and radio enthusiast Pat Robertson made a major announcement yesterday. He says that God told him terrorists will conduct a mass killing in the United States late 2007. ... I think we found our lead suspect." --Jimmy Kimmel

[XXnarg]

http://www.iowapresidentialwatch.com/images/cartoons/RightTurnMd.JPG

[rooobosmith]

Top Ten Features of Bush's New Iraq Plan


10. Make the war best two-out-of-three
9. Blame it on that crazy New York gas leak
8. Convene blue-ribbon study group; ignore recommendations
7. Consult with Rumsfeld, who's now working as a casino greeter
6. Sit on ass until January 2009; let Hillary figure it out
5. Send Cheney to Baghdad with a shotgun
4. Tax cuts for the rich
3. Put Giants coach Tom Coughlin in charge of enemy, watch them collapse
2. Raise money for escalation by robbing Mick Jagger's apartment
1. Dig up Saddam and execute him again


CBS Late show with David Letterman

[XXnarg]

http://www.monstrula.de/filme/dorfderverdammten/cartoon.jpg

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/issue_486/gamblers%20anon.gif

[XXnarg]

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/images/cartoons/060612_editorial.jpg

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/issue_486/game%20over.gif

[XXnarg]

http://usera.imagecave.com/xnarg/shrink.gif

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/issue_486/surge1.gif

[XXnarg]

http://usera.imagecave.com/xnarg/kingobama.gif

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/issue_486/baghdad%20bob.gif

[Syncretist]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/issue_486/surge1.gif


That is just too much. I cannot stop smiling every time Isee it :)

[XXnarg]

http://usera.imagecave.com/xnarg/obama.jpg

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/issue_486/iraq%20taxi%20ride.gif

[XXnarg]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/jh/2007/jh070116.gif

[XXnarg]

http://www.carloneworld.it/images/4_Humor/Jpg/Insolite_2.jpg

[rooobosmith]

Worried about Bush reading your mail?

Use big words.

**********************************************

"But the point is that, one, we will win this conflict. We will win it easily." -- Senator John McCain, 1/22/03


"When I voted to support this war, I knew it was probably going to be long and hard and tough." -- John McCain 1/4/07

[XXnarg]

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/4/7/kerry_rebel.jpg

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/b/6/edwards_breckgirls.jpg

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/d/6/edwards_hair.jpg

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/K/5/kerry_french.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/6/4/kerry_golddigger.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://www.thehollywoodliberal.com/condicolin.jpg


http://www.thehollywoodliberal.com/bush_condi_reacharound3.jpg

http://www.thehollywoodliberal.com/bush_bathroom_break4a.jpg


http://www.thehollywoodliberal.com/kiss3.jpg

[rooobosmith]

Andy Borowitz: Cheney Invites Libby on Hunting Trip


Vice President Dick Cheney raised eyebrows in Washington today by announcing that he was inviting his former chief of staff, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, to join him on a hunting trip in Texas.

Coming as it did during the first week of Mr. Libby’s trial for perjury relating to the CIA leak case, the vice president’s invitation to hunt for quail seemed certain to arouse suspicions.

But in a press conference at the White House today, Mr. Cheney insisted that the hunting trip had been in the works “for months” and had nothing to do with Mr. Libby’s trial.

“I just thought that this would give Scooter a chance to get a little fresh air,” Mr. Cheney said. “As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing more relaxing than hunting – especially when you bag something.”

Aides to Mr. Libby were less than enthusiastic about Mr. Cheney’s invitation, however, with one of his lawyers saying that his client “should under no circumstances go anywhere near Cheney, a gun, and the woods.”

“He should stay here and stand trial,” Mr. Libby’s lawyer said. “Worst case scenario, he’ll have to do some prison time, but at least he’ll be alive.”

Elsewhere, Vice President Dick Cheney defended the government’s right to obtain everyone’s financial records “except mine.” http://www.borowitzreport.com

[XXnarg]

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/q/B/gore-cheaties.jpg

[XXnarg]

http://www.cagle.com/working/061218/ohman.gif

[adams135]

*Iraq*

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon
an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side
of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.

The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both
men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the
highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent.

We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.
"I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable, lowlife scumbag,
and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left
wing liberal democrat drunk."

"So I said that Osama Bin Ladin dresses and acts like a frigid,
mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does
Hillary Clinton!"

"And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a
truck hit us."

[ASG]

Be an Expert on Anything (http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.08/colbert.html)
By Stephen Colbert

PICK A FIELD THAT CAN'T BE VERIFIED. Try something like string theory or God's will: "I speak to God. I'm sorry that you can't also." Security experts are in this category: They have security clearances, we don't. We can't question the expertise of the NSA because we are not in the NSA.

CHOOSE A SUBJECT THAT'S ACTUALLY SECRET. Dan Brown invented a secret subject for The Da Vinci Code, so now he is forever an expert on this secret subject that no one can challenge. Anybody who attacks the secret subject is, by definition, part of the cabal.

GET YOUR OWN ENTRY IN AN ENCYCLOPEDIA. In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.

USE THE WORD ZEITGEIST AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. Ideally, you want to find words that sound familiar but people don't really know their definitions: zeitgeist, bildungsroman, doppelgänger - better yet, anything Latin. But avoid paradigm. It's so 1994. If you say the word paradigm, everybody knows you're a poser.

BE SURE TO USE LOTS OF ABBREVIATIONS AND ACRONYMS. Someone who says the words operations security may be educated, but the person who uses the military abbreviation Opsec is clearly an expert. If I use the term Gitmo, that means I've actually been there. If you say, "We're going to Defcon 1," it means you probably have the launch codes. Real experts don't have time for extra syllables.

SPEAK FROM THE BALLS, NOT FROM THE DIAPHRAGM. In the expert game, you've got to have sack. That means speaking with confidence. In America, you've got to steer clear of nuance and ambivalence - and don't even contemplate doubt.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO MAKE THINGS UP. Never fear being exposed as a fraud. Experts make things up all the time. They're qualified to.

DON'T LIMIT YOURSELF TO CURRENT KNOWLEDGE. If you worry too much about being up-to-date, you miss out on vast territories of obsolete knowledge just waiting to be reclaimed. Think of leech-craft and all the lonely experts in the use of the little creatures, which are now experiencing a renaissance in health care.

GET AN HONORARY PHD. They work wonders. I have a doctorate in fine arts from Knox College in Illinois. All I did was give a speech, and now everybody has to call me Dr. Colbert.

MAKE A HABIT OF NAME-DROPPING. Say things like "I was talking to John Hockenberry yesterday for my story in Wired. Have you seen my cover?" I plan to use this issue of Wired to assert that I now know everything about wires.

BE FAMOUS. IT HELPS.

[XXnarg]

http://newsbusters.org/gaggle/2007-01-12.png

[rooobosmith]

http://www.sddemocrats.org/direct_photos/issue_487/ghost%20of%20LBJ.jpg

[XXnarg]

Chris Matthews calls Hillary (http://slickdeals.net/?sduid=16556&t=351999&u2=http://mediamatters.org/items/200701170003): "Dukakis in a dress"

http://www.happyfunpundit.com/hfp/images/dukakis.gif = http://jcrue.wordpress.com/files/2007/01/hillary-dukakis-tank.jpg

[rooobosmith]

"President Bush has called on Iraq for a better performance by their government. And today, Iraq said, 'Uh, you first.'" --Jay Leno

"Bush admitted to making mistakes in Iraq and says he has learned from these mistakes and will do better in Iran." --David Letterman

"The good news is last night President Bush finally admitted he's made mistakes in Iraq. The bad news is he's planning to make the same mistakes again." --Jay Leno

"Bush is going to send more troops to Iraq. That's the solution. And I was thinking, you think he'd being doing this if he were still in the National Guard." --David Letterman

"People who watched the speech said President Bush looked uncomfortable. And I was thinking, of course -- he was in a library surrounded by books." --David Letterman

"After hearing the president's speech, Democrats in the Senate are seeking bipartisan support for a non-binding resolution opposing President Bush's deployment of his military escalation. In response, President Bush said, 'Huh?'" --Conan O'Brien

President Bush also said that all the military commanders who have looked at his plan say it will work. That's because all the ones who said it wouldn't work aren't military commanders anymore." --Jay Leno

"Ted Kennedy attacked the president. He said Iraq is George Bush's Vietnam. Which is very unfair. There is a huge difference. Bush knew how to get out of Vietnam." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is now calling for sending 21,000 more troops to Iraq. How does he come up with that number? I don't even think 21,000 people in the country think it's a good idea." --Jay Leno

"In a prime time speech last night, President Bush said that he was sending in 20,000 more troops to end the war. He wasn't talking about Iraq. He was talking about the war between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump." --